The Don Draper Problem in Real Life...

I must admit that I have never liked Don Draper.  I tried liking him in Season One of Mad Men; largely because the critics said I should like the brutally honest way in which the hugely popular TV show portrayed the rough and tumble, testosterone fueled battle for gender and career dominance in the decade of the sixties.  After having watched about a third of Season One, I realized that, contrary to the critics’ perspective, not only did I find Don Draper repulsive (irrespective of the later revelation of his traumatic childhood) in his personal and his professional life, but I also found him “unwatchable.” By that I mean, even for this recovering English teacher there is a certain level of verisimilitude which deserves to be ignored; if only because there are aspects of Life that don’t require imitation by Art.  In the case of Mad Men, Don Draper’s odious treatment of women, including his - then - wife, is all too much still with us in the second decade of the 21^st Century. I’m not at all clear as to why any thinking person needs Television to remind us that Draper’s aggressive, self-absorbed and misogynous persona continues to haunt the halls of corporate America some fifty years later.

These musings surfaced after reading a Blog entry by New York Times writer Michael Port entitled:  The Don Draper Problem: Root Out Your False Narratives. His column makes the case that Draper, the protagonist in Mad Men (actually, he’s the antihero of the show), is ultimately undone by the, rather farfetched, back-story in which Draper assumes the identity of an Army buddy killed in the Korean War. Port’s column highlights the brutal price Draper pays decades later for (literally) burying his secret identity.  What irritated me about Don Draper’s character (and to a lesser extent, Port’s deconstruction of it) is how little attention was focused on the price paid by family and friends who unknowingly suffered because of the (unacceptable) ways in which he compensated for his secret past. However, Port uses Draper’s dysfunction to make the case for personal authenticity in our every day adult interactions.  He explains his point this way:

 

“A great deal of the literature around "authenticity" really comes down to this question (do) we have the courage to talk about who we really are, not just who we want others to think we are.”

 

Don Draper’s fatal flaw, in effect, was his creation of an identity that was at odds with who he really was. And while Draper’s dramaturgy is an extreme case - even for the most credible of viewers - Port’s point is well worth considering.  He hit home with me when he posed this, all too common, scenario:

 

“Think about how some of us add on layers of personae to gain others' approval while hiding parts of ourselves that we think are embarrassing.”

 

Of course, we all do this to some extent. What our family knows about us is not necessarily the same as what our friends know about us (and some times, vice-versa). Port isn’t suggesting that we should become completely transparent in all situations - that would spell disaster for most of us; but he is making a compelling case for the value of being vulnerable in front of others, especially with respect to those aspects of our lives that keep us from being our best selves.  As evidence for this  never-ending challenge, Port sites Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg's success as the author of the bestselling book Lean In as an example of someone who was willing to name her internal conflict around intimacy, marriage and having children.

 

            At La Salle, it is not our role to encourage teenagers to be vulnerable (they are often able to accomplish that in highly unattractive ways all by themselves); but it is our role to nurture authenticity in their public and private behavior. Adolescents are fully capable of hiding their weaknesses from themselves and others. What they need to learn - and what Don Draper learned too late in life - is that personal authenticity (and its cousin, integrity) is strengthened when they allow themselves to be vulnerable in the presence of those who care about them - their parents, extended family and, at La Salle, their teachers and coaches. I have been privileged over the last 16 years to observe our students blossom because of the trust they placed in a teacher or coach who challenged them to be their best selves.

            So, I suppose that Don Draper’s character is worth paying attention to, if only to remind ourselves that a lack of authenticity - and integrity - can cause any one of us to walk down a path we didn’t intend and probably won’t result in a life well-lived. As our teenagers gear up for another school year, its worth noting that the most important outcome of their journey through their four years at La Salle is that they become good students and good people.

Together and by Association...

I recently received an email from a La Salle alum who is an undergraduate student at the University of Southern California, inviting me (and others) to follow his Blog he had created to chart his summer internship at the Hong Kong outpost of USC. On many levels, he’s a remarkable young man. As a high school student, Roque regularly achieved a 4.0 GPA (or higher), was on our track and field team, involved in Student Life and was a Student Ambassador; oh, and he was a San Miguel Scholar as well. Most members of the La Salle community know that the School provides nine San Miguel (full tuition) scholarships to incoming freshmen from Catholic elementary schools who demonstrate financial need and academic potential. Over time, they have proved to be an impressive lot - earning an average GPA of 3.1 - similar to that of their tuition-paying counterparts at La Salle. Even within the talent pool of the San Miguel Scholars, Roque is unusual.  His drive to achieve in and out of the classroom was evident from the first moment he stepped on campus. He embraced life at La Salle with a gusto that is rare among young adolescents.  So, it was no surprise to me that Roque was awarded a full-tuition scholarship to attend USC’s Marshall School of Business.

Having just completed his junior year at USC, Roque’s enthusiasm for learning opportunities didn’t begin with his journey to Hong Kong. He had already served as a Fellow at a marketing firm based in New Jersey and he was one of ninety students selected last summer to intern in Taipei for two months through the University-sponsored Global Fellows Internship Program. Now he’s in Hong Kong assisting in the launch of the University’s international academy this summer. This internship is highly competitive and Roque was one of two USC students selected to participate.  All this while excelling in his course work and being selected as captain of the USC Trial Advocacy Team…and now he is blogging about the experience.

As I thought about how much Roque has accomplished in three short years, it occurred to me that, in addition to his intellectual talent, intense commitment to the task at hand and amazing resolve, there is an additional factor, rooted in the culture of La Salle that, as the Marketing Committee of the Board of Regents likes to remind me from time-to-time, is often obscured by our tendency towards modesty in celebrating the accomplishments of our students. That factor - embracing diversity as an educational end in itself - pushes our students to become their best selves in the four short years they spend with us. Embracing diversity has been at the center of the philosophy of Lasallian schools across the globe since Saint John Baptist de La Salle founded them over 300 years ago. As one commentator once observed: 

“La Salle believed that rather than undermining society, the education of the poor and working class would lift all of society.” 

Indeed, so successful were his schools that middle class and affluent families were soon attracted to them. Brother Gerard Rummery, a prolific educational philosopher on the unique value of Lasallian schools framed their contribution this way: 

“The counter to this (schools segregated by wealth and class) was the school which "ran well" (a frequent expression of De La Salle), where all children could come irrespective of their social status, and where all could obtain the basic education which made them capable of obtaining useful steady employment, thereby enhancing their human dignity.” 

In short, Brother Gerard notes that “La Salle made it possible for the poor boy and the better off boy to sit on the same benches.” This was a key element of De La Salle’s educational genius and continues to characterize today’s Lasallian schools located in over 83 countries. By making it possible for wealth and class to become irrelevant in the school, De La Salle made it possible for teachers and students to learn from each other - “together and by association.”

            At La Salle, we celebrate the rich dynamic that is created when students from all walks of life gather together in the same space.  We know that the bonds of friendship - of association - nurtured in an ethnically and economically diverse world benefits everyone and makes it possible for students to become their best selves. At La Salle, Roque’s story is impressive, but not unique. We expect every student, regardless of background, to seize opportunities as they present themselves, to stretch the limits of their imagination and to look to their peers for lessons that only a diverse student body is capable of producing.

            I asked Roque if I could share his Blog with the readers of this space. He was happy to give me permission: 

https://roquehk2014.blogspot.com/ 

Oh, and by the way, he just made the second round cut for a position next year as a White House intern.