Bothersome Friends

Saint John Baptist de La Salle, the Founder of the Christian Brothers, was a prolific writer, authoring hundreds of letters as well as documents – like The Conduct of Christian Schools – which had a lasting influence on the Brothers, long after his death. An essential concept promoted throughout the Founder’s writings is the notion that the Brothers should be “obliged to look upon themselves as the older brothers of those who come to their classes.” The imagery of this concept is rich in the kinds of relationships we imagine occur in the ideal family. What better way to characterize the kind of nurturing relationship between teacher and student imagined by De La Salle than to liken it to that of an older brother? In the ideal, an older brother takes us by the hand, encourages us to develop our God-given talents, keeps us from harm, and watches over us constantly. For De La Salle, this is precisely what he asked the early Brothers to imitate as they entered their classroom each day.

Fast forward three hundred years and listen to the words of Brother Álvaro Rodríguez Echeverría, FSC, Superior General of the Christian Brothers, describe the student-teacher relationship:

“A beautiful Lasallian image is that of the bothersome friend… We need to be bothersome for the sake of the children whom we educate in order to obtain what might be necessary for them, without counting the difficulties or the inconveniences it might cause for us….”

Both the image of the older brother and bothersome friend formed the foundation of the annual Faculty/Staff Retreat conducted by Student Life Director Ed O’Connor just prior to the start of the 2008-2009 year. I was struck by these images (updated slightly by including older sister in their iteration) as Ed challenged us to answer three questions:

1. How have I acted as a big brother or sister to the students entrusted to my care?

2. What motivates me to be a big brother or sister to my students?

3. What makes it difficult for me to be a big brother or sister to my students?

Working in a school like La Salle, it is easy to take for granted the family metaphors we frequently use to describe the educational experience of the students entrusted to our care. Because they are so familiar to us and because we make assumptions about their efficacy, we need to be reminded from time to time of their power and of the “awe-full” responsibility they require us to shoulder. So, as I spent the day with my colleagues wrestling with these three questions, I began to realize that De La Salle’s vision for the Brothers - and their lay colleagues - required more than a simple acknowledgement of its utility to the task of educating students. His vision is as fresh today as it was 300 years ago because, in the words of one Lasallian author:

“What we have here is…a Christian anthropological view which is the basis for…personal relationships.” 

 While the concept of “Christian anthropology” is the stuff of research papers, in terms of our use of family metaphors to describe the student-teacher relationship in a Lasallian school, it is as simple as De La Salle’s understanding that, if we see everything with the “eyes of faith,” then we become grounded in a spirituality which recognizes that God’s Spirit transcends categories and social divisions. We are older brothers and sisters – and sometimes a “bothersome friend” - to the students entrusted to our care because we see God in them as easily as we see God in ourselves. We are grounded in a relationship that demands the kind of care and concern an older sibling offers to her sister or brother.

The Faculty/Staff Retreat concluded with a ritual in which each of us deposited in a basket a card containing an individual resolution to be a better older brother or sister in some specific way during 2008-2009. I can’t think of a better way to welcome our students back to their home away from home. Happy New Year!